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The Way to Extraordinary: 3 Tips to Exceptional Growth

Consistent Accumulation of Small Mindful Choices on Positive Relationships, Time Management, and Mental Clarity

Author

Kim Pivot
May 24, 2024

Thought

Three years ago, my ex-girlfriend went to see a fortune teller when we first started dating. I didn't go with her, but the fortune teller mentioned that I had too much blue around me—my minimalist rotation back then consisted 10 navy blue T-shirts. The other thing she said was that the past seven years of my life had been wrong in every way because the person I was with wasn’t right. I didn’t think much of it at the time.

Fast forward three years to the present, in mid of a divorce-like aftermath of a breakup, I started thinking about that earlier seven years I had. We argued twice in seven years, so I thought we were a good match. But in reality, I never cared enough to spar with her. We were lazy and just got by our day-to-days without growing with each other. I remember thinking, "Is this what the rest of my life will be like?" It clicked and the seven years ended abruptly.

The next three years were intense to the other extreme. My next partner was emotional, driven, and a narcissist. Though I learnt and grew significantly through the adversity, the mental abuse from this relationship is another book of a story.

No company is better than bad company. Period.

A person walking up a stone path, symbolizing personal growth and development, with grassy hills on either side in a minimalist black and white setting

Journey of Personal Growth

Scoop

I believe exceptional personal growth is based on three things:

1. Positive to Negative Ratio is 5:1

It takes five positive interactions to make up for one negative one. No matter how positive, lucky, high-energy you are, one negative person is all it takes to drag you under. Unless you are first extraordinary, you are no saviour to those who don’t want or know they need to be saved. Surround yourself with positive people, simple as that.

You life is your responsibility. If you let people drag you down, that’s on you. Whether it be romantic or friendship, be discipline about protecting your social circle, minimalise, let go of toxic relationships in time. You do know what is right.

2. Time Blocking to 15

Plan your day in 15-minute blocks to use your time efficiently. If the discussion can’t solve something in 15 minutes, extending it to two hours won’t help. Don’t let it drag out. If you aim to finish something in 15 minutes, you’ll auto-focus on what’s important.

Everyone has 24 hours in a day. The quality of your relationships reflects how well you control your time.

3. Declutter Your Mind ASAP

Clear out mental clutter and re-focus quickly. We all need time to digest information, emotions and grief from time to time—block it in and give yourself that time. Reduce distractions and focus ruthlessly on what matters. Allow yourself to be silly over little things but absolutely clear-headed on the important things in life, live!

Resources

Book in Brief

I love this book and would read it again if I had the time.

Waitzkin is not just good at both chess and martial arts; he is exceptionally good. This reminds me of my love for "Made in Japan"—they’re not just good, they’re exceptionally good. I have the utmost respect for those who hone their crafts and know that the sky’s the limit.  

The book is divided into three parts:

  1. The Foundation: Waitzkin emphasizes the importance of embracing the learning process and developing a growth mindset. By focusing on incremental progress and loving the game itself rather than just winning, long-term success becomes attainable.

  2. My Second Art: Transitioning from chess to martial arts, Waitzkin highlights the similarities between these disciplines. He stresses the importance of internalizing techniques and maintaining a calm, focused mind under pressure, showing how lessons from one field apply to another.

  3. Bringing It All Together: Waitzkin introduces "investment in loss," learning from mistakes to improve. He also discusses creating a structured learning environment, maintaining life balance, and finding flow states to enhance performance.

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Last Word

❝

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.

Vincent Van Gogh

I aspire to be exceptionally good, at least within my immediate controllable environment—you can too. People around me have noticed and trusted my work. It is a rewarding feeling, and it all started with making numerous small, mindful decisions. These choices accumulate to create an environment that lifts us beyond the breadth of mediocrity. Keep at it!

+1% each day